Communicating in the modern world. Can we stop it please?
14 Sep 2020Every company must have an âAbout usâ or âWho we areâ section. And in there they have to put empty words from the HBR. The easiest way to do this is list values. Deutsche Bank set a good example by having 31 dense pages describing their code of conduct. The Deutsche Bank who in 2017 was fined for assisting Russian money laundering, who in 2017 agreed a settlement for their key involvement in selling mortgage back securities, who in 2015 were fined for involvement in the Libor rate scam. Iâm not anti-capitalism, its the open lies that are so irritating.
Deutsche Bank are extreme, but the values or mission or vision or purpose for most companies are ridiculous. Essentially, they force a reasonable business idea to become a saintly mission. How about we just aim to make good quality food easily available? Thatâs a fine aim. We all like good food. Instead we say that weâre battling climate change by reducing food waste. Its a little over the top. A fake purpose is worse than the pursuit of a sensible one. It feels silly. We arenât up to building electric spaceships, weâre in these ordinairy jobs because we werenât up to it. We know that. We know you are the same. Why lie?
On easyjet flights they call the rattling metal food trolley that contains packaged snacks that could survive a nuclear winter âour boutique bistro serviceâ. Iâve never heard anyone turn to their neighbour and say âTheyâre coming through the cabin with What??â âI think she said boutique bistro service babeâ. No one laughs, no one notices. We should notice. Its crazy.
Cleaners need passion for cleaning. Youâre paying the minimum wage. The job itself objectively sucks. How about you drop the passion requirement you crazy bastards? And the same for the other end. Youâre paying 150k. Letâs not pretend people are applying because theyâre passionate about high quality enterprise customer relations! More space for honesty would improve how we understand one another. It would improve how we feel and would improve the outcomes. Iâm going to trade my best effort to do what you need doing, I will try to improve at that overtime, and you give me a fair amount of money. With no charades of practiced answers weâd be communicating more.
This does require effort. To say something useful in a job ad you need to reallyl think. Every company is looking for âindependentâ people who are âgreat team playersâ that can âthrive in a fast paced environmentâ. It may as well not be said.
Weâve let companies desensitise us to communication insanity. We keep getting worse. Its hard to tell if many of the posts from individuals on LinkedIn come from people or caricatures. And I would never post this on LinkedIn.